Chris Scearbo is an avid Signs of Love supporter who has served with us in
Honduras over the past several years. Chris and his wife served with us again this past
summer, and he shares his experience of camp here:
Day One
After setting up the camp and praying for the kids’ arrival, for
their protection, and for the enemy to have no grounds in this place, I was
super thankful for Travis’ attention to detail and his desire to go above and
beyond for these kids, in preparation for this weekend, including the
skits/dramas, gathering of materials, and laying out the obstacle course.
When the bus arrived with all of the kids, we lined up to
celebrate. I got lots of hugs and high fives from kids I didn’t know. It was
cool to see Edwin and Marvin celebrate these kids and their friends being
here–lots of smiles, smiles everywhere–all smiles and lots of hugs.
I realized that this was the first time I’ve been around a group
of deaf people that are also Christians with the primary purpose of worshipping
the Lord.
All throughout the weekend it impressed me that many of these kids
at one point had no language at all, no way to communicate with anyone, even
their deaf peers, and yet they were worshipping with all of their body and
language that they have. How do you teach someone with no language whatsoever?
How do you teach them something that everybody else learns inherently simply by
hearing while growing up? How do you teach them about Jesus when they don’t
even know who God is? How do you teach them about God when they don’t
even know what the sign for Jesus is, or what Jesus has done for us?
It was amazing to see the results of the efforts of the Signs of
Love staff and above all the work of Jesus, because this transformation can
truly only be the work of God.
I realized that part of my discomfort in being around deaf people
wasn’t that they speak another language that I don’t understand, or that they
don’t have language at all, but that society sees and views them as having a
disability and simply being different. The discomfort I have felt around the
deaf felt similar to being around someone with CP or Down syndrome. This
feeling was something that I wanted to address and work through during the
weekend.
So at dinner on the first night, I was the first of the three of
us (Alissa, Trav and me) to get food. As I looked for a table for all of us, I
saw an empty seat at one of the “cool” tables, and recognized an opportunity to
throw myself into discomfort. So, I chose to sit down with these guys instead
of sitting with Trav and Alissa who would have interpreted for me.
My thoughts: “What am I doing? I know basically no sign
outside of my name, I love you and soccer…and I definitely have no idea what
any of these kids are saying to me…” But, I just jumped into the
uncomfortable situation that awaited me at the table.
I thought my frequent facial expressions of confusion,
bewilderment, and loss of any understanding of what they were saying to me
would be a clue that I had no knowledge of sign. But it became clear to
me, that they had no intention of slowing down their signing to me, and threw
their language at me like rapid fire. I felt like I was drinking out of a fire
hose. It was almost comical…I mean they had to know that I was completely lost
in this conversation.
I felt like every other sign was a flick of a wrist forward into
the air. What were they saying...that something is way over there? That
something way over there is also something way into the future? That something
way over there and also way into the future is also really high in the sky? I
felt like a bobble-head doll, shaking my head in agreement to everything.
At some point, we discussed soccer, although I have no clue to
what extent. I’m pretty sure I said I am good at soccer and I will play
tomorrow. This also got me thinking…that some of these kids still had very
little language in their sign…and I could very well be signing something that
means nothing, or something completely different than what I thought I was
signing…and these kids might be doing the same thing! How many of these
kids were signing Honduran sign and how many were just pointing to stuff and
signing whatever they felt made sense to them? This thought actually made me
more comfortable–if I could just act something out it was good enough
communication. All I had to do was show what I was thinking and not get so
caught up in my lack of sign language.
One of the guys made some kind of sign about biking, like BMX
trick bikes. I think. Maybe we were now just listing off individual things we
like…bicycling, soccer, bigger plates of food….or maybe he was saying he tries
to impress girls with his trick bicycle skills…either way I thought “I’m
killing it now” and was really enjoying this dinner. Then he pointed to his
arm, which led me to believe his attempts at winning girls over haven’t been
going very well…and then EVERYONE started pointing to their scars and signing
way back, way way back scars. Scars way back. Super high, super far back.
Scars. Smiles. I didn’t feel like this was any different than any conversation
I had with my guy friends when I was an adolescent.
I am glad I sat down for dinner with these guys, I felt like the
Holy Spirit was saying “just trust me with this one.” I hope that the guys
could see that although I had little understanding of what they were saying, I
wanted to stand by their side and be their friend.
Later in the night, Orlan was imitating everyone. I was amazed at
how so many people could guess who he was imitating, with such little
information. Everyone knew so quickly! It really surprised me at the little
cues that they picked up. He also imitated me, which I did not pick up on, but
everybody else seemed very quick to tell it was me and I was thankful for
getting imitated. It felt like it was my initiation and acceptance into this
community.
Bedtime on Friday night was super interesting: everybody in their
beds waving at one another from all across the room to get each other’s attention,
and having conversations with each other. It was the first time I’ve really
seen a large group of deaf people communicating with each other. Miguelito
laughed for three straight hours, just giggling all through the night. I
thought, man, this may be the only time each year these people see some of
their friends and how beautiful to see everyone interacting with one another. I
liked hearing the laughter and moans of these kids throughout the night.
I met Franklin and Carlos, and Trav and I talked with them for a
while. I felt like I was able to hold a decent conversation with them, with the
help of Trav.
Day 2
Our second day together went by so fast and felt so incredibly
long at the same time.
I was nervous to do the skits, and thankful for the consistent
positive feedback and encouragement from Alissa, Travis, Robin, Kathryn, Jessie
and also the kids.
It was hilarious how we could recite the whole skit out loud while
doing the skit because no one could hear anything, it seemed pretty comical to
me.
I enjoyed playing soccer with all the kids, there were so many
bodies on the field and rather than traditional soccer, this was: run with the
ball as far up the field as you could before losing it or getting it stolen. We
picked teams, but it was like 20 vs 20, guys and girls. I had no idea who was
on my team, and I also couldn’t yell to anyone to pass the ball or to move so I
could pass to them, or warn them of someone on their back. I had never
experienced this before on the soccer field. I truly had no idea how to
communicate with my teammates. I didn’t want to try and be a hero or a ball
hog, so I really had to be aware of my surroundings when getting the ball, so I
could effectively pass it to an open teammate…and I didn’t even really know who
was on my team. So often players when receiving a pass will keep their
head down and dribble and look up later for a pass, but the lack of ability to
communicate really forced me to know who was around me, who was where on the
field, who my team was, and where the other team was positioned before even
getting the ball, which is actually a great skill to learn in soccer…so
ironically I am thankful for this challenge.
Kids were playing barefoot, with their dress shoes (because it’s
probably all they had), their sneakers, and a few had cleats. Robin said that
they would save up the whole year to afford cleats.
I had a goal that Gustavo kept signing was a nice goal and that he
saw it curve.
At the end of the game Marvin showed me that his cleats had ripped
during the game. Later that night, as I processed through this, I felt the
Spirit was telling me that I could afford a new pair of cleats to replace mine,
I didn’t need mine and I had the opportunity to share love with Marvin by
giving him my cleats. Earlier that day he had actually tried on my sandals, so
I knew my cleats would fit him. While I was the only one in the bunkroom, I put
my cleats in his backpack. I didn’t want anyone to know or see that I had given
them to him and I didn’t know if I would have alone time with him before camp
was over, nor did I really even know how to sign “hey your cleats broke so I
wanted give you my cleats”…so this seemed like the best way to give them to
him. The next morning when he woke up and saw them in his bag he was very
confused but happy when I signed to him they were now his.
I am thankful for this moment also, for the Holy Spirit speaking
to me as a way to bless Marvin. Through the weekend I had felt favor towards
him. I was impressed with his character, his heart for serving God and
that he is a great man of God…he is also the best deaf soccer player I have
ever seen, and I’m glad we had soccer in common.
During the 4th run-on skit, which was the competition, I had been thinking
about whom I would pick for the volunteers to carry on my back. One of the
kids, I didn’t know his name, had been on my heart throughout the weekend. I’d
had no interaction with him at this point, but I felt like I was supposed to
pick him. When it came time to ask for volunteers and I looked in his
direction, he made eye contact with me and asked me to pick him up and this
warmed my heart. I was thankful to share this moment in the skit with this boy
and I was grateful that God showed me yet again that without knowing sign He can
use me to share love with these kids.
In this 4th skit, Alissa asked the crowd which one was stronger: me or
Travis…and all the kids went crazy for me. I know in all the skits Trav is
supposed to be the goofy one, and I don’t care who is stronger, but it touched
my heart again, at their welcoming and acceptance of me. I really was taken
back by this moment, like through God I have also been able to reach these kids
and love them and they have received it and were sharing their acceptance with
me.
I was again reminded of this on Sunday, when the kids picked their
favorite camp shirt. Who knows, maybe they really did love the blue shirt more
than any other shirt. It’s blue, and it’s new. Everyone loves the color blue,
and everyone loves something new…but I felt loved by them in this moment also.
Saturday night, I was reminded multiple times, by a couple of the
older men, that I lost my wedding ring while playing soccer and someone had
found it for me. With Alissa’s help interpreting, they asked me how much I paid
for the ring, and I told them about 100 limpera, which was not actually true,
because that’s about $4.50, but 100 is a nice round number and after a long,
physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting day I was okay with this
answer. The guys then responded in astonishment, and the face of
“wow.” They said if they had bought a ring that expensive they would have
taken much better care of it and how foolish and careless I was for losing it
while playing.
Although kind of annoyed by the constant reminder, I was actually
really humbled by this. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on the guy’s
face when I told him it was 100 limpera ($5 USD). How privileged I felt in this
moment. How much I have, and yet, $5 USD to them causes a look of utter
disbelief that I would be so careless. My heart hurts that I live such a
privileged life and complain as much as I do. I don’t need more and yet I want
more so often, simply because I can. It was a reality check. The fact that, to
me, a $5 ring is dispensable , and yet is a luxury to many.
Saturday night, Travis and I had long conversations with Franklin,
Carlos, and Marvin. I learned that Franklin has two brothers in the
states. I believe both of them are hearing and they don’t send money back to the
family and Franklin feels the responsibility to take care of his mom. He works
hard as a welder, which I guess is a popular/common profession to have in
Honduras. It is also very common to have a family member in the states.
I learned that Carlos lost his Mom about five years ago, that
Franklin is scared of flying planes, and Marvin is getting married to his
girlfriend of four years in December. Marvin also works a lot and has his own
motorcycle.
Day 3
As camp came to a close I processed through a lot of my
feelings:
My original frustration and annoyance with being in so many skits,
because this isn’t my thing–serving and loving the deaf isn’t my calling. I
love Alissa, Robin, Travis, and everything Signs of Love stands for, so I’m
more than happy to show up, but I don’t want to be in everything because this
isn’t my thing…Those feelings had been replaced with a heart of love for the
kids at camp.
My fears of not being useful or helpful or able to communicate
were replaced with the love the kids showed to me.
My annoyance at doing all the skits while at camp was pushed aside
by the kids’ excitement for our dramas and the positive feedback of the team. I
have grown in my understanding and appreciation for how much Travis gives at
camp for the sake of the kids. It’s beautiful and without the passion God puts
in him to serve, I wouldn’t have fought internally to finish the last skit and
would have called it quits.
This has been the hardest year to leave Honduras, of all the years
I have come. Maybe it will continue to get harder every time I leave until
maybe one day I won’t leave.
I have a much deeper understanding of Signs of Love, and I’m
grateful for what they do here. I’m even more excited and proud to help
them any way I can, whether it be with my time or money or both.
I have learned yet again, in a much deeper way that love has no
boundaries, love is its own language and all you need is the sign of love to
communicate and to touch someone.
